By Dr. Ajay Kummar Pandey, Advocate, Supreme Court of India

Last month, I received a distressing call from Vancouver. A woman, originally from Delhi, was sitting in her lawyer's office trying to understand a "Notice to Resolve a Family Law Matter" she'd just been served. Between her tears and confusion, one thing was clear—she felt completely lost in a system she didn't understand, dealing with a marriage that was falling apart, and terrified about losing her children.

This conversation wasn't unique. Over my three decades of practice, I've seen this scenario repeat itself across different cities and countries, with the same underlying pain and confusion.

The Reality Nobody Talks About

We celebrate when our children settle abroad. We share their success stories at family gatherings. What we don't discuss enough is what happens when things go wrong—when marriages crumble, when families split, when the dream of a better life overseas turns into a legal nightmare.

Today, over 32 million Indians live outside India. That's roughly the entire population of Canada scattered across the world. With many people living between two cultures, two legal systems, and often two very different sets of expectations, conflicts are inevitable.

It's Not Just About the Law

Here's what I've learned: the legal issues are actually the easier part to solve. What's harder is the cultural disconnect, the isolation, and the fear of losing everything you've built.

Take the case I mentioned earlier. That woman in Vancouver wasn't just worried about legal procedures. She was worried that the Canadian court wouldn't understand why she'd left her career to raise the children—something completely normal in our culture but sometimes viewed differently in Western legal contexts. She was worried about how to explain the money her parents had given them as a wedding gift. She was concerned that the gold jewelry from her wedding would be treated as "joint property," even though she understood it was always meant to be hers.

These aren't just legal questions. They're cultural ones.

Where Indian Lawyers Become Essential

You might wonder—if the case is in Canada, the UK, or Dubai, why do you need a lawyer in India?

From my experience running offices in Delhi, Mumbai, and Dubai, I can tell you exactly why.

First, your assets back home need protection. The moment family disputes begin abroad, the property in Gurugram, the flat in Mumbai, the ancestral land in the village—all of these become vulnerable. I've seen cases where one party quickly transferred property or emptied joint accounts in India while the other was battling court procedures abroad. By the time they realized what happened, it was too late.

Second, foreign courts don't always understand Indian realities. Try explaining to a Canadian judge why your mother-in-law's name is on the property deed. Or why your wife's jewelry is worth lakhs but doesn't appear in any bank statement. Or why there's no official employment record, even though your family business generates substantial income. These require careful legal explanation and documentation—something that needs to be prepared from India.

Third, enforcement works both ways. Whatever orders the foreign court passes—child support, custody arrangements, property division—often need to be enforced in India. That requires an Indian lawyer who knows the system and can get things done.

The Cases That Keep Me Up at Night

What troubles me most are the cases where people wait too long to seek help.

I remember a man who came to me after his wife had already obtained full custody in a US court and returned to India with the children. He hadn't participated properly in the US proceedings because he didn't understand them. Now he was trying to see his children, and the legal mess was exponentially more complicated.

Or the woman whose husband cleaned out their joint property in Delhi while she was going through divorce proceedings in London. She had no idea she needed to secure those assets immediately.

Or the elderly parents caught in the middle, unsure whether to travel abroad to give testimony, worried about being blamed, and desperately trying to hold the family together.

What Actually Works

After handling dozens of these cases, here's what I've seen work:

Don't hide from the problem. I know it's tempting to ignore those legal notices or hope things will work out. They won't. Early action saves enormous trouble later.

Get representation in both places immediately. Not eventually. Not when things get worse. Immediately. You need a local lawyer who knows the foreign system and an Indian lawyer who can protect your interests here.

Think about your children first. I've seen parents use children as weapons. It never ends well. Courts everywhere prioritize children's welfare. So should you.

Document everything. Every rupee you sent home. Every investment you made. Every contribution to the household. In Western courts, especially, documentation matters more than verbal claims.

Be honest with your lawyers. I can't count how many times clients have held back information—about other relationships, hidden assets, or immigration status—thinking it would help their case. It never does. It always comes out, and it always makes things worse.

The Practical Reality

Let me be direct: these cases are expensive. Legal fees in Canada or the UK, combined with those in India, can add up quickly. Travel costs, translation costs, expert witnesses—it all adds up.

But you know what's more expensive? Losing custody of your children. Losing property you spent years building. Getting deported because you didn't handle immigration aspects properly. Making decisions based on emotion rather than legal strategy.

What Needs to Change

Frankly, we as Indian lawyers need to do better. Too many of us still think "international family law" is something exotic or rare. It's not. It's increasingly common, and we need to equip ourselves properly.

We need better networks with lawyers abroad. We need to understand different legal systems. We need to stop assuming that what works in the Delhi High Court will work in a London or Toronto courtroom.

Our community needs to discuss these issues more openly. There's still too much shame, too much stigma around divorce and family breakdown in our culture. That silence leaves people isolated and uninformed exactly when they need support most.

A Word to Those Struggling Right Now

If you're reading this while going through a family law matter abroad, I want you to know something: this will end. It feels overwhelming now, but with proper legal guidance and support, you will get through this.

Don't let anyone—not your spouse, not their lawyer, not even well-meaning relatives—pressure you into decisions you don't understand. Take time to get proper advice.

And remember, you're not choosing between India and your adopted country. You're navigating both. With the right help, it's entirely possible to protect your interests in both places.

Reach out to lawyers who specialize in cross-border matters. Ask questions until you understand the answers. Most importantly, take care of yourself and your children throughout this process.

The legal system—whether in India or abroad—can feel cold and impersonal. But there are lawyers who care, who understand the cultural complexities, and who will fight for your rights with the same passion they'd bring to their own family's case.

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